There are several School Organizational leaders that I meet with regularly ranging from District leaders, principals, to Instructional Coaches and the one thing that they commonly share is this feeling of isolation and disengagement from their peers and colleagues in the workplace.  There is an ongoing concern and isolation I’ve experienced in each position. Below are my personal stories of loneliness and how I was able to change and grow.

Teacher to Coach

As a coach excited about a new position ready to share my knowledge with former colleagues not realizing that they would not see me the same.   I understood the system, the people of our school, my principal’s leadership style but still didn’t come to realize how my past relationships with the people who I had worked with and befriended would drastically change.  I experienced loneliness, no group people watched my every move.  I was essentially categorized as an administrator... struggling to rebuilding a new network.   Some of the things that helped me were professional development opportunities.  The connection and discussion with other Coaches helped tremendously because they were going through the same thing, but our ongoing conversations moved us toward collaboration and sharing best practices.

Coach to Administrator

Yes, this is where the isolation really happened.  The true encounters with educators were limited… at least in the coaching arena I was able to regularly support teacher in a non-threatening way, but this separation made it difficult to connect on a personal level and my external mentors and colleagues were far away.  Conferencing was a temporary fix to my isolation.  School socials, retreats, and fun events changed upon my arrival and I understood why … the camaraderie was different, you can’t be a friend.

Building Relationships

In every stage of growth there was a need to belong within the school family but for every leader there is a value in making sure staff feel like they are apart of the community.  Yes, I did make an effort to visit classrooms more, monitor curriculum often, and review data monthly.  I eventually came out of this loneliness stage by work diligently to foster relationships with the people around me.

Consider This:

Jordan Catapano gives great advice on building relationships and interacting with your team at  your school building, see below:

1. Ditch the E-mail- Relationships are best built face-to-face and side-by-side, but e-mail waters down the relational impact of our message.

2. Ask for Their Successes- When you ask for someone else’s input and advice, you automatically show respect for their perspective.

3. Connect on Social Media- This doesn’t mean that we merely share pictures of our children and pets during off hours; it means that we utilize these social media tools to professionally engage with one another beyond the school walls.

4. Work on Something Together- invite others into your task

5. Be Social- Sharing time together – especially over some food – is a great way to reinforce the bonds you have.

6. Mind Your Manners and Then Some- go the extra mile with your kindness Hand-write thank you notes, buy birthday gifts, bring treats

References:https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1741143215587302http://www.teachhub.com/relationship-building-teacher-colleagueshttp://www.oecd.org/education/school/37133393.pdf